Are the calls to the children in your life going unanswered or unreturned? Is the child in your life seemingly always busy, unavailable or not at home? Have you gotten the impression that they don’t want to talk with you? If any of these rings true for you then you may find this a great read.

No Answer… Now What?
When you’re calling the youngster in your life and they’re not answering or are too busy with friends to talk… keep calling! If you’re getting the feeling that you’ve become annoying… forge ahead.

I write this from experience and with a knowing that with consistent effort you are assuring them of your want to talk with them, your want to know them, your want to be a part of their life, and that you are never too busy for them.  This is an invaluable part of their development, how they see themselves and others, their confidence, how they interact with the world, and their self-esteem.

They’re Older and Busy
The older your kids get the busier they get as there is more and more added to their daily schedule. This is just more for the two of you to talk about.

Kids need to know that by them getting older you didn’t loose interest. Try calling more around bed time to get the recap of their day.

They Don’t Want to Talk
Don’t be surprised if they’re difficult to talk with, moody, short, and don’t exactly volunteer information. Can you remember a time when you too didn’t want to talk with your parents?

This is fairly typical behavior for most adolescents and teenagers. If the silence on the phone tends to make you uncomfortable be prepared to pick up where the silence leaves off by writing a few questions down before your call.

Don’t take the silence personally.  There is most likely a great deal going on in their life, their mind, and their body that they need your help and guidance through.  But remember that their thoughts and emotions can be pretty muddled and difficult for them to understand at times.  It’s up to you to draw them out and get them talking so you can be there for them.

The simple gesture of maintaining a constant and consistent presence in your kids’ life is beyond measure.

How They’ll Feel if You Don’t Stay Connected
If you opt or have already opted NOT to sustain your connection with the adolescent in your life I can assure you they feel as though they’ve done something wrong, like they should have done something differently and are feeling guilty.

They may not recognize it but they most likely feel unworthy of love, affection, and other attentions typically received from the father figure in a young person’s life. They will be angry, confused, resentful, and (depending on their age, upbringing and environment) won’t likely even understand why they feel the way they do until much later in life.

What Happens if You Don’t Stay Connected
The things that the aforementioned feelings can lead into may be disastrous for many youngsters; such as being so starved for attention that she goes to bed with anyone who puts their arms around her, never feeling good enough, and never reaching her true potential are just a few ideas to ponder.

This is not the contribution you want to make to their life nor to their generation.

If you’ve given justification for not establishing a bond with them I can assure you that whatever your reasoning it will never be good enough for you and will especially not be good enough for them.

You Are Important to Their Life
At every age your role in your child’s life is meaningful. It’s never too late to establish and maintain a relationship with them and you can begin with a simple phone call.

Be Consistent
Regardless of the feedback you receive initially I can tell you that with consistent effort you are instilling within them their value and importance to you and thereby a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-worth.

They Love Your Love
Don’t be fooled by the much-loved eye-roll or they heavy sigh; there is nothing quite like the feeling of looking down at your phone and seeing that one of your parent’s is calling you. It’s just as equally wonderful to get a thoughtful and silly voice message or (my personal favorite) a package or goofy post card in the mail.

Healthy Role Model Relationships Equal Solid Foundation for Healthy Self-Esteem
When kids have a healthy sense-of-self and a strong self-esteem they’re equipped to experience their full potential, to live out-loud, uninhibited, healthy, exciting, joyous, creative lives… so keep calling.

I hope this article gives you many wonderful conversations with the young people in your life.

If you would like to share your own experience on a relative matter or have any questions you would like insights on please feel free to contact me via the contact page.

Most Sincerely,
KimChell Haskell